I’ve been at work all day, my regular (monthly) corporate gig for POP Productions, in Walthamstow. It’s been the usual mix of hanging around, frenetic brainstorming and taking the piss out of each other – a good day.
Anyway, I was showing the delightful Alex this blog, and I noticed among the random word strings people use to find me (“dimensional travel” + “spiders” WTF? “adam morely” + “director” – who? And my personal favourite: “i’m absolutely desperate for a piss”) there were nine searches for “gumball 3000” scriptwring competition.
Nine?
That seems like a lot. I hazarded a guess that maybe the results of the comp were out and the email would be sitting in my inbox. A quick peek revealed …
Balls.
I’d left Outlook Express on at home and it had removed all my emails from the server. So I finished off my day of shouting and being silly:
Ninja Grandmas!
Scented Haemorrhoid cream!
Stone Age video production!
… and raced home.
It’s a two hour drive back to Eastbourne from North East London. Nearly three tonight because of the shitty weather and the nervous drivers. I tend to drive as fast as I can through adverse weather conditions on the grounds I want it to be over as quickly as possible.
I also tend to crash.
A lot.
I finally reach home and check my emails and there it is … an email from the Gumball team. The results are out, they’ve chosen the winning three, and the winner is …
Not me.
Double balls.
This is the email:
Dear Phillip,
I’m sorry about the delay in replying to you, we actually spent the weekend and all of yesterday going through the final ten scripts again.
Thank you very much for your submission and bearing with us. Unfortunately after careful deliberation your treatment was not chosen as the final three. We thought your script was well thought through, although the characterisation was a bit too one dimensional and the plot a little too generic.
We will definitely be in touch on future projects and wish you all the best in your endeavours.
Kind regards,
Patrick Fischer.
Which is nice. I’m taking that to mean I made the final ten. Although, maybe not with a generic plot and one dimensional characters; but still, I’m a glass three quarters full kind of guy (I exaggerate, sometimes called lying), so I’m happy.
The real bonus is I’ve set a new personal best: the longest I’ve ever driven to get rejected.
PS. Who did win? Anyone know?
The Jobbing Scriptwriter 
I am sorry to hear that, Phil, thanks for the e-mail heads up. I never got anything from them yet so fingers are crossed that maybe it means I am also in that Top 10 consider? If I don’t hear any word by Friday I’ll send them a “what’s going on, guys” query.
No prob, Todd. I hope you’re still in the running.
They do seem to be using a ‘winnow, send rejections, repeat as necessary’ approach. I didn’t enter so I’m just basing this on observation, but that strategy seems to be putting people substantially on edge. Note to self — if you ever run a screenwriting competition, tell everyone the results at the same time.
Ah, damn. Sorry to hear that.
They’ve announced the winners:
http://www.gumball3000.com/fans/competitions
I don’t seem to be on there… 😦
Good luck with the writing,
Rob